Shortcuts

I sit in a metal chair that feels like someone has their elbow in the back of my neck. We are traveling over a desert, and the pilot just took the intercom: "It looks like we will be able to take some shortcuts on our way to Denver, so we will have you there on time. We may even be a couple of minutes early."

Shortcuts? We are flying 230 miles per hour over a roadless mound of dust: isn't this the ultimate shortcut?

This announcement saddens me. I enjoy listening to two friends talk across my body about regression analyses, business strategy, and operational management. They come from Chicago, like me, but, unlike me, they are working on their MBA. I chime in every once in a while to say things like, "Oh, so you're doing a strategic analysis on Netflix? Here's an analysis: Don't eff with stuff that works." and "I have many business ideas, but I never do any because I don't have the money. Or maybe I'm just lazy." Jokes designed to make business geeks laugh.

The man to my left asked for no ice in his mixed drink. But as the flight attendant hands him the drink, she begins to apologize. There is ice. "I'm so sorry," she says. "Would you like me to bring you a new one?" He smiles and takes the drink with ice in it. Things would have been different, he decides, if the older, less attractive one had messed up his drink. But she's young and cute: she gets a pass.

Both men pull out their tablet computers and finger-massage until they get what they want. I tell them they are making me feel out of date. This laptop under my hands was the hot new thing a couple of years ago. Now it pales in comparison to sleeker designs; kind of like the other flight attendant with the better memory.

These two men are now my friends. I make them laugh with unthinkable business ideas, and they give me advice on how to choose a career. We chuckle over drinks with ice in them. They glance at the flight attendant who added three cubes when she shouldn't have. I want to run into the cockpit and beg the pilot to nix the shortcuts.